It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
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