pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
