No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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