I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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