And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
It's no shave November. This is our time.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
