Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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