just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I could make wine with my vomit
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize