I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
