She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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