12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
