Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
my shit smells like andre
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
