ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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