I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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