everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Randomize
