we have pet lesbian snakes
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize