Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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