Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Randomize