is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
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