thus making me awesome and them whores
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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