she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
