Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Randomize
