I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
