I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Randomize
