What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Randomize
