I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
