I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize
