one word: firstdatebathroomanal
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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