is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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