Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Randomize
