Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize