at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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