yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Randomize
