Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
