well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
She told me I should be a condom model.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize