We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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