just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
