just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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