Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
