my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Randomize