I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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