I cannot find my penis.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
COCAINE IS GR8
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
