my sisters under your porch take her home
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
