I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
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