Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
