we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
