capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
