she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
