she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
