I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Randomize
