**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
