I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
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