Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
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