You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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