I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Randomize
