I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
