she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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