i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
