yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
