i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
