it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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